The Jokes on You
by pupeez4eva
Summary: Apparently being unmasked by the Joker on live television STILL isn't enough to convince people that Bruce Wayne is Batman. Sequel to "The (Attempted) Big Reveal" and "The Simple Solution is Never Simple"


**AN:**

 **Wow, never thought I'd be writing more for this series. But recently I had a comment on ao3 from TigressinCreamSilk who asked if I could do a fic where the Joker unmasks Bruce on live television and no one believes him. I just want to thank them SO MUCH for that idea because I loved it straight away, and knew I had to write it for this series. So here it is, and hopefully you guys enjoy it :D**

 **Just a quick recap since it's been like 2 years since I posted the last two fics in this series - at this point the team all know that Robin is Dick Grayson, but they still refuse to accept that Bruce is Batman xD This fic is a sequel to "The (Attempted) Big Reveal" and "The Simple Solution is Never Simple" and it'd probably be a good idea to read those first since this might be a bit confusing otherwise.**

 **Anyway enough rambling from me - hope you enjoy this! Tell me what you think! :)**

 **...**

Bruce took in his surroundings — the ropes binding him to the chair he was sitting on, the camera flashing in front of him, the Joker who was walking over, a wild grin on his face — and wondered, yet again, how he'd allowed himself to get into this mess.

He'd let the _Joker_ get the upper hand, and now he was paying for it. The man had made it clear what he wanted to do — unmask Batman, and make sure everyone would see. The footage was being broadcast live to multiple networks. Already, people would be getting a clear view of Batman, held captive by the Joker, and about to be revealed for the world to see.

He'd tried his best to escape, but nothing had worked so far. He'd been trying to get the ropes off — and had made a significant amount of progress, in fact — when the Joker had returned. As he got closer, Bruce struggled with the ropes, trying to loosen them. If he could get these off, he could fight back, he could stop this from happening —

In the end it was too late. He'd managed to loosen the ropes considerably, but not soon enough to stop the Joker from yanking his cowl off in one rough gesture.

Bruce felt a moment of sheer, unwavering panic, before he pushed it all aside and forced himself to work the rest of the ropes off. The Joker was now standing still, his eyes wide in shock. Bruce threw himself against the man, and either the force of the attack, or the surprise, sent the clown flying.

After that, apprehending him was easy, especially since the Joker seemed to be too busy gawking at Bruce to put up a real fight.

When Bruce turned back to the camera, it was lying on the floor, the lens shattered. It was too late though. He'd seen the camera, fully focused on him as the Joker had unmasked him, and knew that by now a countless number of people would have seen the footage.

...

If anyone saw him now, they'd see Batman, as stoic as ever (he'd pulled his cowl back on. Maybe his secret identity had been shot to hell, but that didn't mean he felt comfortable standing around as Bruce Wayne while wearing his Batman suit), standing in the shadows as he waited for the GCPD to arrive.

He tried to think of a way to salvage the situation. Maybe there was something he could do to deny it — but Bruce wasn't the type to indulge in fantasies, and he honestly couldn't see a way he _could_ fix this. His identity had been broadcast live. There was video proof of his unmasking, and even if he could somehow deny _that_ , there was plenty of footage of him before the Joker had taken his cowl off. Enough that most people would surely acknowledge that it had been Batman sitting in that chair, and not some imposter.

It was over. There was no way out of this mess.

(Well, that's what he'd thought anyway, until Jim Gordon arrived).

"Batman, is that you?" Gordon asked, walking over.

Bruce simply nodded stiffly.

Gordon stared at him for a moment and then let out a small sigh. "Look, I can't say I approve of what you did. It was dangerous. You put an innocent man in danger."

Whatever Bruce had been expecting, it sure as hell hadn't been _that_.

"…What?"

"I'm just glad it all worked out," Gordon continued, oblivious to Bruce's confusion. "But Batman, where is Bruce Wayne?" He glanced around, his brow furrowed. "Is he safe?"

Bruce stared, unable to hold back the flash of disbelief in his eyes. This…well, he shouldn't be surprised, he thought sourly, as memories of the League's reaction returned to him. Still though, Jim Gordon was a competent man, and there was no way he actually thought…

Gordon was now studying Batman's face, his brows drawn together, and a thoughtful expression on his face. After a while he sighed and nodded in an resigned gesture. "So he's okay then? You got him out of there."

Bruce continued to stare.

Gordon sighed and stepped forward. He reached out and pat Bruce on the shoulder. "It's okay Batman, your identity is still intact."

He should have felt relieved, but instead, all he felt was a numb disbelief, and a recurring thought of, _'HOW?!'_

 _..._

He sat in the kitchen, nursing a cup of tea, as Alfred hovered nearby, and Dick sat next to him, feet swinging up and down. His son's face was drawn and exhausted, and Bruce felt bad for worrying him so much.

Apparently it wasn't just the recent identity reveal that had caused that stress. No, it was also largely due to the sheer idiocy of his team, and as Bruce listened as his son recounted the events from earlier that day, he couldn't even bring himself to be surprised.

...

When Dick sees the Joker removing Batman's mask, all he could think was, _'This is it. SO not asterous'_ He thought that summed things up pretty nicely, because this whole situation was about as far from asterous as it could possibly get.

He sat there, freaking out, staring at the screen with his fists clenched and his eyes wide. The footage had long since cut off (Dick hadn't even been paying attention past the initial unmasking), but it was already too late. Everyone had gotten a good look at Bruce's face.

"Oh my _god,"_ Artemis said.

M'gann turned to him, her eyes wide. "Robin, that's your dad, isn't it?"

Dick nodded his head shakily.

Later on, when a news anchor informed them that Bruce Wayne was safe and perfectly fine, and that Batman had apprehended the Joker, Dick was too worried and upset to pay any attention to the odd phrasing.

Then Wally said, "Oh come on Rob, you Dad's fine and Batman's fine — " and Dick realised that, oh God, they _still didn't believe._

He should have been relieved. He should have latched onto the hope that maybe, just maybe, everyone else would be too clueless to accept the truth, and Bruce's identity would be safe.

Instead, overtaken by a sudden feeling of shock and disbelief, all he could say is, "He _is_ Bruce Wayne."

Wally laughed. "Oh, still sticking with _that_ story, huh?"

Dick glanced around at his team. They still looked worried, sure, but they all seemed to _agree_ with Wally, and — oh god, he just didn't understand.

"What is _wrong_ with you guys?!" Dick demanded. "He was just unmasked on live television. How can you still not believe me?!"

Artemis shrugged. "What I want to know is, how did they do it? Did Batman really just throw Bruce Wayne in there and expect him to deal with the Joker alone? Seems like a dick move — no offence, Robin."

"…None taken? But guys, seriously — "

"And how would they _know_ the Joker was going to kidnap Batman at that exact moment?"

"It _is_ Batman," Wally pointed out.

"True…"

Dick gritted his teeth. "Or maybe it's because they're the _same person!"_

Everyone ignored him.

"Maybe Batman switched places with Bruce Wayne right before the Joker unmasked him," Conner said, with so much seriousness that Dick wanted to cry.

 _"Oh!_ Maybe Batman is…Bruce Wayne's identical twin brother!"

 _"Seriously Wally?!"_

 _..._

A few days later, Gordon phoned the manor, wanting to check up on Bruce.

"I'm fine," Bruce told him. And yes, he was. A few days had past, and so far, there had been no major backlash for Bruce Wayne. The reaction from the public was mixed. Some thought he had simply been walking around in a replica of Batman's suit, and had been kidnapped by the Joker by accident. The fact that he'd seemed incredibly Batman-like before and after the unmasking, well…Bruce Wayne was probably just a very good actor.

Those who believed this theory also thought Bruce Wayne was a complete and utter moron. Since most people thought that Bruce Wayne was an idiot, this wasn't anything new.

Then there were those who thought Bruce had been purposely planted there by Batman himself in an effort to protect his identity. The people who believed _that_ ridiculous theory were now of the opinion that Bruce Wayne was a brave, selfless man, who had been willing to risk his own wellbeing for the sake of Gotham's hero.

Bruce thought that, had anyone seen him actually fighting the Joker, there wouldn't be any argument about the fact that Bruce Wayne and Batman were the same person.

(Maybe. Who knew with these people, they seemed to prove him wrong each and every damn time).

Bruce had realised shortly after, while reviewing the footage from the unmasking, that no one had seen a thing past the actual unmasking itself. When Bruce had flung himself back, launching a sudden attack on the shell-shocked Joker, the villain had been thrown back, knocking the camera to the floor and shattering the lens. Thus, the ensuing fight seen had not been caught on footage, and the rest of the world continued living in their own delusions.

Bruce was relieved, he really was. It wasn't like he wanted everyone to know who he was. He'd gone to great lengths to prevent that very thing from happening.

Still though, he couldn't help but be somewhat…disappointed. Were people really this oblivious?

"Bruce?"

Bruce blinked, remembering that Jim Gordon was still on the line.

"Yes," he said. "I'm fine, really."

"You don't have to lie to me," Gordon said, a tad awkwardly. "Batman and I are good friends, so I know the truth. Did you really agree to switch places with Batman though? It was a pretty risky thing to do."

Bruce mentally sighed.

"A very stupid thing too, but still noble. I understand why Batman chose you. You're the one person who _no_ _one_ would ever suspect him of being. Just look, no one's even considering the possibility — "

Bruce cut Gordon off by thanking him, and then hung up.

...

He decided to visit the Joker in Arkham.

He told himself it was because he needed to make sure his secret identity was intact. Sure, everyone else seemed as oblivious as ever, but the Joker had seen him fighting back. If one person believed the truth, then it would be him.

(Deep down he knew it was because he wanted — needed — to know if _anyone_ believed).

He was dressed in full Batman garb, and when the Joker saw him, he simply let out a sharp laugh.

"I can't believe _Bruce Wayne_ tricked me into thinking he was _you,"_ he said, and Batman inwardly sighed. Of course. "The man has a future in professional acting."

"If he was faking it," Bruce gritted out, ignoring the part of his mind that was telling him to count this as a win and _leave_ , "then how did he fight you off?"

"I thought about that for a while," the Joker mused. "For a while I actually thought — hey Batsy and _Bruce_ _Wayne_ are the same person! But nah, that was way too crazy for me to accept, and then finally, _finally_ I came up with another idea."

He grinned.

"Scarecrow musta doused me with some of his fear toxin."

"Your worst fear is Bruce Wayne?" Bruce said flatly.

The Joker snorted. "My worst fear is my arch nemesis turning out to be a _complete_ _moron_. What the hell would that mean for _my_ existence?" He shuddered.

Bruce turned around and walked away.

...

In the end he decided that he should just be relieved that no one knew the truth. His secret identity was safe, and that meant Dick and Alfred were safe as well. He could continue living his life as he had been, and Bruce Wayne and Batman would remain separate in the public's eye.

Still though, he couldn't help but wonder what was _wrong_ with everyone.


End file.
